I looked at myself in the mirror today and felt love and compassion, even when I simultaneously felt like I am not enough. I feel love for all of me, even the scared and dark and mean and hurtful and condemning parts of me that put me down and that I refer to collectively as my worst enemy. I make a space for all those thoughts in my heart and give them a warm welcome and invite them to stay for however long they desire. I am not those things. I am not my enemy... and I am not the one who loves my enemy. God is loving my enemy through me. God sees beauty where I see lack. I am the space that makes room for all that I am and all that I am not. I am the space that makes room for God's love. I am the space that holds love for all of me.

I can embrace my enemy when she puts me down and tells me I am not good enough exactly the way I am... I can hold her in my arms while she cries and screams and feels all alone... and I can make the room needed to love her fully with compassion and...

Today I am motivated to lose weight and get in shape!  I have struggled for many years with following through with things that I start. Sometimes, I feel cursed.

I can see that my beliefs are keeping me stuck. And yet, I still feel anxiety when I reach a point of real change.  Despite what my head knows and my heart claims to want, I fight against change with one excuse after another.  When change gets too real, I can feel like I'm losing autonomy and control in my life.  Then, I subconsciously sabotage my efforts... cause at least I can control how and what I sabotage, right?  It starts subtly at first... then, change just fades into the background and I put a checkmark next to "another failed attempt"...

After I sabotage, I feel a brief flash of relief that things have remained the same.  I don't have to face myself and I don't have to face the unknown.  I also feel defeated and occasionally even hopeless that things are not changing in my...