Invite Your Worst Enemy Over For Tea

reflections Jun 28, 2020

I looked at myself in the mirror today and felt love and compassion, even when I simultaneously felt like I am not enough. I feel love for all of me, even the scared and dark and mean and hurtful and condemning parts of me that put me down and that I refer to collectively as my worst enemy. I make a space for all those thoughts in my heart and give them a warm welcome and invite them to stay for however long they desire. I am not those things. I am not my enemy... and I am not the one who loves my enemy. God is loving my enemy through me. God sees beauty where I see lack. I am the space that makes room for all that I am and all that I am not. I am the space that makes room for God's love. I am the space that holds love for all of me.

I can embrace my enemy when she puts me down and tells me I am not good enough exactly the way I am... I can hold her in my arms while she cries and screams and feels all alone... and I can make the room needed to love her fully with compassion and warmth. I make room for her (my enemy) and expand my space (myself) so she has a place to belong and to live just exactly the way she is. I do not push her away and tell her She is not supposed to feel that way and that she is not supposed to be who she is. She is my enemy. She will be my enemy until she is not. "Enemy, you are welcome in my heart, I hope you find warmth and comfort here, always".

God says, to bless those that curse you and to love your enemies. I can think of no bigger enemy to myself than the beliefs inside my head and heart that tell me that I am somehow not enough.

When I looked at myself in the mirror and felt love and compassion, I understood what loving your enemy is really all about. God continues to amaze me with his wisdom.

I can see now that loving something or someone does not mean that I "AM" that something, or that I condone it or that I want it to be who I am or what I do. It does not mean that I accept it in a way that means I feel defeated or like I feel I can't do better or like it is a part of my identity. What I accept is that it has a right to be what it is... and it has a right to the love in my heart. Cause that love comes from God. Who am I to hold back God's love from even the worst parts of myself?

After all, my worst enemy is only alive because I created her with a momentary belief in time. Once upon a time, I chose to believe (for whatever reason) that I was not good enough. Until I believed that, she did not exist. The moment I believed I was not enough is the moment my worst enemy was brought to life.

I breathed life into her; just like my father breathed live into me. He loves me unconditionally. He holds space for all of me in his heart. I am accepted exactly the way I am and this acceptance allows me to let go of what I am not. I want to follow in God's footsteps and love my own creation (my worst enemy) with all my heart and soul. God does not change into the worst parts of who I am when he loves me with all his heart. I do not become my worst enemy when I love her with all my heart, either.

When I love her completely, I allow her to let go of everything she is not. And I am curious to see who she is (who my worst enemy really is) when I am not pushing her away or distracting myself with life to avoid hearing her.

When I looked at myself in the mirror and my worst enemy stared back at me, I smiled at her and asked her if she would like a glass of tea and to join me in a conversation and stay awhile. I told her she was welcome here. The thoughts of not-being-enough did not disappear or go away. And they also did not have an emotional effect on me either. It was ok to have those thoughts and feelings... and it is ok to not be affected by them. My heart is now big enough for my enemy, too. And I feel stronger and more empowered for it.

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MindfulBasics Blog

This blog is a conglomerate of health & wellness content, personal struggles, wins, failures, insights, inspirations, and many facets of real-life journeys.

When you subscribe you will get the blog posts sent to your email in chronological and series order so it is easy to follow.

Occasionally, you will also get exclusive offers and content directly in your email... yes, offers really are exclusive to this email series ;-)

If you are new to us, please check your email to confirm consent for MindfulBasics.com to email you.